I hope he's feeling alright....nothing too serious.
Sometimes, I just want to keep my room door open. So that he can look in, or at least have the light from my room shining out to the living room. So that maybe he won't feel so...alone? So that he knows I'm here.
But then, when the opportunity comes for us to relate....that irrational dread and response kicks in, and I hide away. It's so, internally frustrating.
And frustrating it is alright...with the things going on in my head right now. Feeling pretty much dried up and all....kinda wandering. You know....I guess we will know, when we're right where we should be in the moment of our life. Not that struggles will be non-existent, but you'll know that in the midst of it all, you're living in the epicentre of His grand purpose.
But then, somehow, I was led to a church brother's blog. And reading through it, I was encouraged. Cos' I'm reminded once again, that they are around, struggling alongside, and not giving up.
So it is then.
I have to surrender to Him, but not give up to me.
The old broken melody, blowing through the trees of Eden.
They say the heart of man is too far gone to save... yet in the quaint humdums of the neighbourhood, in the midst of gains and losses, joys and heartaches, pleasure and pain, friends and foes, battles lost and won, you can just hear that quiet whisper, of an amazing grace....upon this unworthy life.