Closure.
Without it, bleeding wouldn't stop, and wounds can't fully heal. No one walks around with a bleeding unattended wound, cause it doesn't make sense. Our brains will also constantly remind us of our condition with the pain signals it receives.
Why then do we often push ourselves, to pretend it's all ok within us when it's not, to continue walking?
For our own sake? But we can't deny the pain when the people and noise around us is gone & we're faced with the silent reality of ourselves.
For the sake of others? But we'll only realise the foolish and draining futile efforts to put on a beautiful front for everybody.
For who then?
I've finally got the chance to hear the other side of the story. Perhaps now is putting things into perspective and letting Him do the healing and restoration. How and how long? I don't know. May I be obedient to walk in the path of restoration together with Him.
Just how fragile are human relationships? Quite so it seems. It takes so much to know someone, to give the time and effort to keep things on track, but all it takes is a careless word, an insensitive jibe, and before you know it, things aren't the way like they used to be.
What seemed so close, feels so distant now. How fortunate for those who manage to walk back together to a stronger relationship. Sadly, for some, parting is inevitable.
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He suddenly approached to talk to me and asked how things are, was I prepared for the closure. For some reason...I was frustrated. Was it because of my tiredness? I don't know. But I can't seem to shake off the feeling of being counselled, or how the questions seem to be so "textbook", directive. I guess I was insensitive too for my part in some ways.
Sigh. Relationships can get so tiring and draining. Something that brings so much joy and satisfaction, is also the cause of countless heartbreaks and troubled hearts.
So if we as imperfect humans giving imperfect love feel so much hurt and pain, how much more so for the Father who gives a perfect love? I guess the only one who has the right to gripe and give up is Him. How often have we reciprocated His love with our unfaithfulness, disobedience and hurtful lives lived for our own comfort and pleasure. Too often for me I'm afraid. For the many times we ask "Why me??" when we face life's trials and setbacks, let's also take the time to marvel at His love and what seems to me as an unexplainable, "ridiculous" desire to have an intimate relationship with us.
In the face of His gracious, accepting, unconditional love for me, I have to wonder...
Why me???