Morning runs just feel so different...nicer in some ways. After the run, basically chilled the day off with Daniel at Yanquan's house.
Received an sms from a poly friend at night roughly just an hour ago. It seemed that people have already started to receive interview requests and mail packages from NUS regarding the applications. Nope..I haven't got anything for my side. If you ask me, honestly...I don't think I have much chance actually.
And honestly...it feels as though disappointment and anxiousness is knocking upon the doors of my heart. I had really hoped to be able to further my study...the desire for it just seemed to grow through the days of waiting.
I have to keep reminding myself to be thankful for the part of application which He brought me through, and the stand that further studying is a desired alternative, not a required definitive.
But...You know. I cannot deny, but acknowledge. The times I feel about how my friends look at me. That I seem to have a great amount of time and money on my side, taking things so easily and enjoying my life. But yet I know when I start working/schooling, I will never get this chance again...for myself, and for the people around me. But I just can't shake off and deny these thoughts and feelings...
Have I wasted my time and energy? Am I ready to some degree for whichever path lies ahead of me? Do I still have a chance for my study application?
Sighhhhh.......
This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
"In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it.
Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
He rises to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for Him!Isaiah 30:15, 18
Lord,
bring rest and peace to this troubled heart