Thankfully, the haze has cleared up more or less with the change in wind direction.
But somehow, things seem to feel kinda hazy still within, just over this weekend.
You know about haze....it doesn't blind you totally. You're still able to roughly make out your surrounding (disregarding the bad smell)...and with enough focus and distance, you can still see. But somehow...you just feel something..it's not as clear as it should, or can be. The haze doesn't obstruct or cut off your path, nor does it harm you directly.....but it chokes, and can make you all puffed up within.
And so this 'haze' chokes me from within. (No PSI index though)
Little things that just happen. And I feel the pressure and disappointment. At times, I don't really know what I have done, or what I could have done given the situation.
Honestly...are good intentions sufficient? Even when things go wrong, or we do wrong...
If it stems from a good intention which tries to do as best as possible to help and keep things going....should we say a wrong is a wrong, is a wrong. Should pardon be given when we know of the good intention that grounds the issue, despite the mistake made?
I don't know. (but I think I'm standing more on the side of good intentions generally.)
But I do feel helpless. When no one is around to listen, or I find no courage, strength or idea of how to open up and share...the haze chokes.
For a heart to say to you, that you are welcomed, you belong and you are wanted, and your presence soothes, instead of burdens. Personally, I don't see many other things in life, having a higher value and meaning than that. To be taken in by a Love, that speaks an end to loneliness. A Love that doesn't leave you standing outside a closed door. A Love that will never lose its hold or let go.
But ironically....I'm apprehensive. What will I see when the haze clears? Will it be nothing...and I find myself alone? Or will I find myself in a covering...taken in by His love in orchestration in the events all along?
Please...I don't think I can take it...if I find myself to be alone all this while actually. Not after all that has happened.
Would Your love take me in?
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[When Love Takes You In] - Steven Curtis Chapman
I know you've heard the stories
But they all sound too good to be true
You've heard about a place called home
But there doesn't seem to be one for you
So one more night you cry yourself to sleep
And drift off to a distant dream
Where love takes you in and everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in
And somewhere while you're sleeping
Someone else is dreaming too
Counting down the days until
They hold you close and say I love you
And like the rain that falls into the sea
In a moment what has been is lost in what will be
When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
And this love will never let you go
There is nothing that could ever cause this love to lose its hold
When love takes you in, everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in, it takes you in for good
When love takes you in
at times it seems,
so many doors has closed to me in this life.
for those that's not meant to be opened again,
help me to look to you,
for the day when what has been,
is lost in what will be.
so many doors has closed to me in this life.
for those that's not meant to be opened again,
help me to look to you,
for the day when what has been,
is lost in what will be.