The old broken melody, blowing through the trees of Eden.
They say the heart of man is too far gone to save...
yet in the quaint humdums of the neighbourhood,
in the midst of gains and losses,
joys and heartaches,
pleasure and pain,
friends and foes,
battles lost and won,
you can just hear that quiet whisper,
of an amazing grace....upon this unworthy life.
Feel so tired man. Mind's dry from all the thinking and planning, throat's dry from all the talking and singing.
Long for some good deep sleep, and preparation before going for the retreat tomorrow. Hope it'll be a good time to chill, and build. Within, and around.
I'm starting to really love this song, Lost In Wonder. Too often, I'm prone to losing the wonder, than to be lost in it. To be confounded by Your wondrous love and grace....what a place to be in.
I want. =)
Found in Your mercy, lost in Your love.
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[Lost In Wonder]- Martyn Layzell
You chose the cross with every breath The perfect life, the perfect death You chose the cross A crown of thorns you wore for us And crowned us with eternal life You chose the cross And though Your soul was overwhelmed with pain Obedient to death you rose again
I'm lose in wonder, lost in love I'm lost in praise for evermore Because of Jesus' unfailing love I am forgiven I am restored
You loosed the cords of sinfulness And broke the chains of my disgrace You chose the cross Up from the grave victorious You rose again so glorious You chose the cross The sorrow that surrounded you was mine "Yet not my will but Yours be done" You cried
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For those interested, here's the post from Martyn Layzell's blog, of how he wrote the song.
Found it really cool and refreshing. It reminds me of the few times I had some lyrics and melody going on when I was playing around with the guitar, looking for something. Maybe I should take note of them.
Popped over to St Andrew's Village last saturday evening with Daniel. Heh no, we weren't out on a date. Joshua invited us to his school's guitar concert. I thought it was cool....I mean, he wanted to bless us, his fellow guitar loving friends to a guitar ensemble performance right?
Joshua:"...actually ah, you all don't need to come so early. The front part very boring ah...all classical and acoustic guitar. My rock band gig is right at the end...so you all can take your time..."
...right. So much for guitar lovers. -_-"
Anyway, a pleasant surprise to join up with his parents and Amelia over at the concert hall. And yep...I found it a really cool experience.
It was my first time seeing a guitar ensemble. A stage full of different sized and sounding classical guitars! Josh, Amelia and Daniel found it kinda boring. *chh..those unappreciating people* I for one, found the various classical pieces played by the ensemble to be very soothingly nice! (which is probably why I found Amelia shutting her eyes occasionally during the songs)
It reminded me of how much I've neglected playing the classical guitar, which sounds really awesome for plucking. Loved the acoustic guitar performances too. They played a nice rendition of Tears In Heaven with some good vocalist...but really, the instrumentals were great, aided by a pretty good sound system. Really interested about those instrumental mics they used.
The rock bands other than sounding screechingly loud to the ears, were pretty cool. Heh, I didn't take much photos, save for some from Josh's camera. So this is the only action you're gonna see....
he played well man. even did a rock star-esque jump after a guitar lick
Oh which reminds me! Josh's band had some technical issues before the start, so they were doing some talking to ease the crowd. Joshua had to go put on his oh-so-cool shades right on the dimly lit stage, and the lead singer introducing him as.....'Inferno'!!
Wahahahha....maan...all these years, I have no idea he fancies that.......err..cool name. =D
hello Inferno!
hah this daniel..upon hearing josh using the name inferno, decides to call himself....volcano. right.
A cool experience indeed. Makes me wish I had joined some guitar club back then in school....would have learned so much more properly. Oh well.
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Guess most of you would have heard of the latest headline news, of the closure of UNSW.
Just some months ago....I was still considering this institute. I dropped, mainly because of the huge fees. And now...this.
So unexpected. Things just happen....for them, and for me.
What if I had jumped onto the bandwagon back then? Somehow..it's another point in case for me, from Him.
Looking back at certain closed doors, you'll never know what you'd find.
“To him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think…be glory.”
Ephesians 3:20-21
There are two extremes of poor I-sight. Self-loving and self-loathing. We swing from one side to the other. Promotions and demotions bump us back and forth. One day too high on self, the next too hard on self. Neither is correct. Self-elevation and self-deprecation are equally inaccurate. Where is the truth?
Smack-dab in the middle. Dead center between “I can do anything” and “I can’t do anything” lies “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13).
Neither omnipotent nor impotent, neither God’s MVP nor God’s mistake. Not self-secure or insecure, but God-secure—a self-worth based in our identity as children of God. The proper view of self is in the middle.
I feel so wearied within...but I'm starting to find more and more solace in prayer...
"..how precious these moments, Lord I want You to know..."
Perhaps that's the point of it. I guess it's good to remember the treats of blessings along the way. Scatters of flashback which may feel insignificant, but nontheless, play a pivotal role in being thankful in the midst of things.
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=)
Here's some snapshots of the little blessings lately...
an april blessing. treated to a meal at this diner's at bugis. apparently it's run by a christian (like country manna) it's moving soon though...and the owner even asked for a namecard to keep in contact
cream soup that looks and feels like porridge. cool....and weird.
honey glazed roasted ribs
chops on mushroom sauce. i gotta say, it's the first time i see apples used as a side dish
ice-cream brownie
a saturday afternoon stroll by the beach with my parents, after lunch
breakfast with the youths. been a long time since we last had one.
an afternoon at the furniture place eatery
pretty good food for some good catching up. you can't beat free flow coffee man. oh, got the chance to know this lady, who really reminds me of evangeline.
waking up...
...from a bountifully-rested sleep.
family dinner at this eatery just down the road from church, next to Miss-U cafe. catering to big eaters..
my favourite dish when i was young, glazed spare ribs
tastes better than it looks, really.
scorching sunday afternoon, but a fantastic cloudy, blue sky more than makes up for it (how else would 2 funny people stand under the sun and start snapping away?)
“Keep your roots deep in him and have your lives built on him.”
Colossians 2:6
The people God used to change history were a ragbag of ne’er-do-wells and has-beens who found hope, not in their performance, but in God’s proverbially open arms.
Let’s start with Abraham. Though eulogized by Paul for his faith, this Father of a Nation wasn’t without his weaknesses. He had a fibbing tongue that wouldn’t stop! One time, in order to save his neck, he let the word get out that Sarah wasn’t his wife but his sister, which was only half true. And then, not long later, he did it again! “And there Abraham said of his wife Sarah, “She is my sister.”
Twice he traded in his integrity for security. That’s what you call confidence in God’s promises? Can you build a nation on that kind of faith? God can. God took what was good and forgave what was bad and used “old forked tongue” to start a nation.
a Max Lucado devotional, Saturday, May 19
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I'm sorry, and I'm sorry.
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Regarding that, I really have no idea what's going on...but I'm really wearied out by the.....response if I may call it. What we have between...over these years,is it not worth talking over, or at least clarifying?
I really have no idea, and honestly in my best efforts, remained respectively held back as what I can remember. If this is desired to be the case, I shan't over-step any further then.
The movie, Cinderella Man caught my eye when it screened, though I didn't get the chance to catch it in the cinema.
I've since come to appreciate biography/historical movies better, and is the type of movie that I'd like having a quiet afternoon to catch alone. The time and space alone, gives me the opportunity to step into the person's life, and give some thought of my own as well.
Finally rented this movie to watch, and I loved it. =)
Though it basically carries an underdog story seen in other movies, that it being historical and based on a real sports wonder person, is cool.
Russell Crowe plays Jim Braddock, starting the story as the promising boxer who has never been knocked out. A bright future for his boxing career, and his family in the blink of an eye, was out for the count, right as the great depression era kicked in. That coupled with injury on his main boxing master right hand, paved for the gloomy days.
They lost everything. With such hardy days, shadowed with a glorious past, Jim maintained a very respectable standard of ethics and uprightness, and faithfulness to his wife.
Their oldest son, hearing stories of kids being sent away as their family couldn't provide for them, stole some meat out of fear. Jim responded firmly by bringing his son back to shop and corrected things, and had the loving capacity to hear out his son's fear, and wrapped the episode with a promise, never to separate them away.
I could feel something stuck at my throat at the scene where Jim chose to endure humiliation, begging for money from his old boxing associates, so as to keep the promise. A wife struggling between sustaining the family and losing her husband in the boxing ring, kids who are in need, embarrasment of being a has-been, fear and pressure of his gradual return to the ring, facing a younger boxer who had already killed 2 in the ring. He stood steadfast in the midst of the sinking surroundings. That's really something...almost fairytale like. No wonder he was called the Cinderella Man by a radioman at the time.
Interestingly, I've come to realise more of the role of a boxer's manager from the movie. During a match, the manager stands by his boxer at the side. He is the one who sees everything, from a bigger perspective. He is able to see the opponent's weaknesses which a boxer may be blinded from, in the midst of the furious action and mind-numbing punches received. And in between rounds, he sets the perspective for the boxer who may be dis-illusioned, he encourages and psyches his boxer up to perservere in the fight, pushing him into the fullest potential possible. But also, he is the one who knows when is the time for the fighter to throw in the towel...for a rest.
In the movie, Jim's manager, also his best friend, sold his possessions just so that Jim could properly train without worrying about making ends meet. And while others saw Jim as history and a joke, he saw the special passionate strength and potential within.
We would like to have that someone in our life as we hang on in the ring of life, wouldn't we? One who stays, and sees what others don't or dismisses.
Fact is, Jim Braddock became the inspiration of all the folks around during that era, showing them the once-familiar notion of hope...that there's something to fight and perservere for. That all's not lost...that it is possible.
It's still true today isn't it?
We would all love to be shown, what a hero looks like.
I didn't mind the miscommunication, and not getting it after waiting the whole night. I don't mind the trouble at all.
But why do you not listen?
I have already said..."I will settle it on my own..".
Yes, I know and really appreciate you taking the trouble to go ahead and prepare.......but why wouldn't you listen and trust? Do my words mean nothing at all? Can I not be trusted to work it out on my own?
Granted, I could have said things clearer, and my response could have been better...but couldn't you just confirm it with me?
Do you know...my heart really broke, when you spat the words "..why do I need to ask and confirm with you?!", right at my face?
Was it too much to ask? I know you mean well....and I appreciate them...but please, stop forcing them down my throat. Please....stop the inconsistencies.
I already feel at a wit's end with some people and things around in my life. Please....stop choking me.
Despite the coldness and the sermon being re-iterated bi-lingually, I didn't mind at all. It was very refreshing. It resonated within me...this urging I've had within, of the need to remember Him, all these years. Many a times have I lost perspective of things because I forget.
I forget His enablement, His calling, His holiness, His discipline, His forgiveness, His grace, His ability, His presence...
...no wonder things feel out of control. No wonder the lack of the peace and joy He left to us. No wonder we find it hard to extend grace or forgive others. No wonder we take Him, and each other for granted. No wonder we fail to see the importance and purpose of His body and our gatherings. No wonder lost loves cripple us.
A reminder then. Remember our plight, remember His might.
Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, "I find no pleasure in them"
Ecclesiastes 12:1
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“When we were unable to help ourselves, at the moment of our need, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:6
God did for us what I did for one of my daughters in the shop at New York’s La Guardia Airport.
The sign above the ceramic pieces read 'Do Not Touch'. But the wanting was stronger than the warning, and she touched. And it fell. By the time I looked up, ten-year-old Sara was holding the two pieces of a New York City skyline. Next to her was an unhappy store manager. Over them both was the written rule. Between them hung a nervous silence. My daughter had no money. He had no mercy.
So I stepped in. “How much do we owe you?” I asked.
How was it that I owed anything? Simple. She was my daughter. And since she could not pay, I did.
Since you and I cannot pay, Christ did. We’ve broken so much more than souvenirs. We’ve…broken God’s heart.
With the law on the wall and shattered commandments on the floor, Christ steps near (like a neighbor) and offers a gift (like a Savior).
Somehow, couldn't quite get myself to sleep on last saturday night. In fact, I had turned in earlier as I was feeling so tired physically, but somehow, I just wasn't sleepy. So all the way from 1am plus, I kept getting awake, out of whatever light dozes I managed to get into. And after the final wakeup at 5.30am (yeah I felt alert enough to remember the time), I just couldn't sleep no more.....basically tossing around until I got so sick of it and got up to stone all the way till it was time for church.
I wonder what's wrong. Too many things on my mind probably. Could feel them flying on and off my mind while trying to sleep.
As much as it was enjoyable to be up early on Sunday morning, soaking in the morning before church, it was zombie-fying man. The all too familiar feeling of not having slept beyond a wink through the night....much like how it was "tonning" the night for projects during my poly days.
And because of it, I kinda messed up the drumming during the service quite abit. Sigh...really hate it when I had to wince at my mistake yet again and again.
Man, let's hope this sleep-dry season passes soon enough.
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After a span of 3 years, finally got the chance to meet up with my poly coursemates over a bbq on saturday night. Thanks to the effort of those who prepared. And it's cool. Funny I could talk more with those whom I wasn't too familiar with back then, now. I guess after all those years, it's good to just see those familiar faces once again.
It's quite something, to hear about these people whom I graduated together with, in their respective current places. Sure does make me reminisce about school days. Wonder how nafa's gonna turn out to be.
And it's interesting....seeing how pretty simple it was, to just start chatting and all with some of the people whom I didn't really know or talk to back then in school. Guess it's the unspoken feeling of something that binds us and our experience.
I really can't put any finger or words to it. Things just doesn't seem to be moving and all. And my com....is giving me problems again....which explains why I haven't been able to blog all that's on my mind.
And what a recent spat of events it's been. Things I can't really do much about as well.....yet it still wears me down.
Ever since my home computer is down and away, it's been pretty much quiet around. Feels weird in the beginning....but I'm actually starting to appreciate it in a way.
Somehow, the lack of internet makes me feel disconnected to the people around, and it makes me realise, that online chatting plays quite a portion of my communication life. Somehow, it easily appeals.
With a click, and you've got for yourself, this personal quiet space between you and the person, no matter the surrounding noise. It's cool, but nothing beats face to face man. Especially when chilling out with coffee together! =)
Oh well, a short post for a quiet night, until my com returns. (man can't wait to write abt spidey 3! if i still remember by then that is..)
Until then....
...some people around me... ...certain things ahead of me... ...some things waiting for me... ...certain responses awaiting me... ...an unexpected kind gesture of a gift, awaiting my collection. simple, but very thoughtful and much appreciated nontheless... (thank you!)
..things on my mind. Help me, and sustain me.
About me
Who am I? You sure you want to know?
The story of my life is not for the faint of heart.
If somebody said it was a happy little tale... if somebody told you I was just your average ordinary guy, without a care in the world...somebody lied.
