Partly due to me basically taking a rest and doing...nothing, probably. Managed to go for 2 days of the Living Word seminar on Psalms at St Andrew's.
It was kinda cool....the speaker had this slow, 'english-y' speaking style....but injecting straight-faced humour within his sentences. Heh interesting.
The first session I attended was on the 2nd night, on history I think. (oops)
It was on....er....a particular psalm.....from....err the book of Psalms. (oops)
It was a great reminder session...on facing our past. To make statements saying that surely we cannot change a particular bad habit or become better, is to allow ourselves to be imprisoned by the past...pronouncing a death sentence upon ourselves.
During that session....this statement spoken by the speaker, struck me, and continuously tugged at my heart...
"...if anyone of you out there is thinking and doubting...that there is no way you can change things, after all these years. You know what.....you can."
It seems as though He was speaking directly to my heart. To remind me....pushing aside the load of disappointments and regrets that had been hiding, the hope that had been buried deep under all this while.
So apt a timing. I guess it's something for me to hold on and look back to, as I ready my heart to walk through certain things, for the next few weeks...or months. Who knows...
The last session tonight, was on suffering. Quite a topic huh. To be honest....I went with some expectation. Maybe there would be some answers.....some reasons given for suffering. Why do they happen. Or at least, how to make sense of them, and see the purpose.
But....there was none. No 'answers' provided. Going from the theme and content found in psalm 137, the speaker basically spoke of the tragedies...giving us questions that remind us of the various sufferings we've witnessed and gone through in our own respective lives. Other than the video clips showing movie scenes of pain and struggles, it made the atmosphere mostly quiet.
I was actually disappointed.
But it suddenly dawned upon me near the end of the session. After watching the clip of Jesus's suffering upon the cross and his life from 'The Passion of Christ', I felt yet another tugging upon my heart....
God as the perfect, Alpha Omega, King and Lord of all, Sustainer and Creator of all things by His word and breath alone.....where does His death and suffering fit into the picture? It makes no sense at all, and definitely not a natural aspect for Him. Yet He willingly cowered Himself into a human form in suffering, despite having all the right and ability to stop all pain and suffering, He chose not to. What ground-breaking, weirder facts could there be compared to this?
Perhaps in the light of this, I should not be surprised or caught off-guarded at the sufferings and pain happening to me in the state of this fallen world.
O Lord, remember what the Edomites did on the day the armies of Babylon captured Jerusalem.
"Destroy it!" they yelled. "Level it to the ground!"
O Babylon, you will be destroyed.
Happy is the one who pays you back for what you have done to us.
Happy is the one who takes your babies and smashes them against the rocks!
"Destroy it!" they yelled. "Level it to the ground!"
O Babylon, you will be destroyed.
Happy is the one who pays you back for what you have done to us.
Happy is the one who takes your babies and smashes them against the rocks!
Psalm 137 : 7-9
To some of the horrific bible passages/psalm talking about pain and utmost hatred....
To the sufferings found in this world, in my life, and in the bible...how do I respond to them?
"Why is this happening...it's not fair!"
It's so easy for me to ask that when things happen, and try to put a finger to a root problem and try to make some sense out of it.
It's so easy to just find someone and put a blame to and be angry with.
Even if that someone, is God.
We shake our fists and question at His sovereignity, and ask whether if He is as good, and as omniscient and omnipresent as He claim to be.
But honestly....what things can we say, that is good enough an answer for the sufferings some people go through? And what do we say to such psalms and passages?
I didn't know what to say, while watching the video clip of Jesus' path to bring salvation. Most of us wouldn't ask for such pain and suffering, yet He planned and purposed it all to happen, for our sake. What can we say?
Perhaps that's why the speaker didn't try to offer answers or explanations. As mentioned by him, sometimes the best way to read such passages would be to just quietly soak in the horror and reality of it. To just weep alongside, as Jesus did, for those in pain. To realise that I'm probably going to understand and explain my own suffering, as much as the same extent that I can understand why God would choose to experience death and die a criminal's death.
And honestly...given a choice, I would much rather Jesus to tell me, that He understands my pain and grief, than to have my 'whys' of it answered.
But if anyone has the right to ask why...it's Jesus.
"...Yet not my will, but Yours be done" he cried...."
How humbling.
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After all the failed attempts, I finally got the chance to meet up with Yeepeng for a catchup session over a meal, at TCC! Mann the food, dessert and coffee was good. Should have snapped some shots.
Really enjoyed the session. Heh kinda observed her structured personality and style from the session....as she basically brought in the topics of faith, work/study, relationship, service to talk about.
Good time of sharing it was....probably helped by the previous occasions of staying in touch with her over phone and email. Little points of contacts, but really makes a difference man. Learnt and realised a number of things I didn't take note of before.
Hmmm.....a gifting of mediating?
Interesting....