It's been really quiet around here over this week, hasn't it? Unfortunately, it's not really a true reflection of what's been going on around.
A hectic school week it was man....with the usual school work pileups and all. But it's enjoyable though, what with the cool company around, and some pretty neat stuff we learnt. I finally got the chance to take black/white pics using a self-made pinhole cam, and develop the photos inside a dark man. Cool...always wanted to experience being in there after seeing them in movies.
If only things remained so simple.
Received a call on thursday evening that totally knocked me off the balance, and basically threw out any mood I had while trying to do my work that night.
Uncle Toh Huat had passed away.
The first death ever, in my church, I have seen.
"No it can't be....not right after the testimony from his wife on sunday..", I thought to myself.
As I sat there at burgerking, with my work left stranded on the table before me...thoughts of him flashed before me. 2 distinct memories of him came to my mind immediately.
1st was of him playing badminton with his son, Joel, at the badminton court. He was pretty good at it actually, just like Joel. His usual quiet and reserved mannerisms in church, was replaced with delibrate forceful jerks of body motion to play the game. Chuckles and smiles graced his usual-straight face, expressing his enjoyment of the moment of bonding he was having with his son.
The 2nd memory was seeing him in church early one sunday morning, on my way to prepare for band prac. He was looking pale and painful, showing difficulty in walking, and had to be held by someone in support to walk. When pain, discomfort and 'disability' doesn't stop someone from wanting to be in church. That would be the last time I ever saw him, I think.
Love and devotion to God, love and devotion to his family. That's what I remember of him.
As I saw his lifeless body on friday evening, it gave me a sombre reminder once again. Or rather...questions to remind me about life....
..when someone crosses the finishing line of life, lying there in the casket....what are the things done, lost, left, gained, that really matter?
The failed exams? The money and belongings lost? The trophies won? The un-reciprocated love? The scars of hurts and betrayals left by others? The skills and talents had and gained?
In the face of death, I don't think all these are going to matter much more. Funny how I let some of these things overwhelm and burden my life away.
We take nothing with us in our death, but we can certainly leave many things behind.
Perhaps it was his fighting perserverence that showed his family how to hang on in the midst of pain. Perhaps the obedience and responsible character I see in the children, was grounded in by his steadfast stand on it. The gacious providence from his company and friends in this hour of need, probably shows a well-liked and respected life he lived.
A heritage left behind.
Although I wouldn't consider myself as close to him, I had wished for another chance to see him for the last time. I had initial thoughts about wanting to offer words of encouragement to him....but on second thoughts, I think I could do with some words from him instead. I could certainly do with a few lessons on life from him.
It feels as a loss on our side. But for him, I believe he finds awaiting, what this world and lifetime can never offer nor replace.
Loss?
I'd say......He has gained what this whole physical life is worth struggling and sacrificing for.
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[Find Us Faithful] - Steve Green
We're pilgrims on the journey
Of the narrow road
And those who've gone before us line the way
Cheering on the faithful, encouraging the weary
Their lives a stirring testament to God's sustaining grace
Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses
Let us run the race not only for the prize
But as those who've gone before us
Let us leave to those behind us
The heritage of faithfulness passed on through godly lives
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
After all our hopes and dreams have come and gone
And our children sift through all we've left behind
May the clues that they discover and the memories they uncover
Become the light that leads them to the road we each must find
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
The old broken melody, blowing through the trees of Eden.
They say the heart of man is too far gone to save... yet in the quaint humdums of the neighbourhood, in the midst of gains and losses, joys and heartaches, pleasure and pain, friends and foes, battles lost and won, you can just hear that quiet whisper, of an amazing grace....upon this unworthy life.