Still feeling pretty awake (and hungry), thanks to an earlier rest in the evening. It was really some good sound sleep I must say. Looking out my window now, and it's really some night out there right now....
Cool quiet breezy nightWas just soaking in the simple moment of the night, looking out to the litted blocks against the night sky....when for some reason, the song 'None but Jesus' just came to my mind.
In the presence of surrounding darkness....there is a light for those who would trust, a place to learn our wearied bodies upon for rest. And no, I'm not saying this from a mountain top view right now. Neither am I an infallible strong tower. I just want to remind you, as I remind my own forgetful self.
Yes, I know you...some of you, around me, drifting and struggling to stay afloat. With my limited and weak reach, I have heard, read, seen, felt what you are roughly going through. I'm sorry for the times when I've not done enough, when my own tiredness and human failings constraint and contain my arms from reaching out for a pat or a hug. I'd really want to, if not for the waves of unworthiness I contend with personally.
As a fellow struggler, I just want to say to you and remind myself: Don't let go, of yourself and God especially.
No matter the suffocating and blinding darkness that's choking you at the moment, where you don't see any future to look forward to, and you're too afraid to look back at the past. And yes you've tried to sing in the darkness, no matter the croaked voice from all the crying, only to feel nothing, or even silly, stupid and futile with your efforts.
But it's not. Sing and cry out again.
Even when the voices of regret, disappointment, shame, hurt, hopelessness, defeat taunts and put you down, hold on to His promise, your heart songs and Him. A desperate, bleeding, dirty cracked heart doesn't put the Savior off. Not especially to a Savior who was crucified to set us free.
If only you'd dare to bare your heart, going against the very reasoning of your human flesh, that God doesn't care or hear....to thrust and trust all your painful and heavy heart matters into His hands.
Even when the response we get seem to be silence....do we still dare to trust?
a reminder for me, and you
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Well, I've finally, more or less come to a decision about it. Thanks in part, to an earlier msn conversation I had. Sort of an affirmation. But I'm still scared, though I can feel the inclination towards it.
I just want to trust, to the best of my ability and sensitivity, and see just what He will do.
Into Your hands then.
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[None But Jesus] - Hillsong
In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored
When You call I won’t refuse
Each new day again I’ll choose
There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise
In the chaos, in confusion
I know You’re Sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will
When You call I won’t delay
This my song through all my days
All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord
Forevermore