Just back from the wake of Michael's mum.
The news just came out of nowhere. But it was definitely all the more so for him and his family. I only saw his mum once in my life...that was some years back....that night when I popped over to his house to discuss about some stuff. It was a hi-bye encounter with his mum.
I can't even recall how she looks like now. But, this particular wake tonight just left me....hit.
I suppose it's because of that letter. The family gave a letter writeup by his brother, detailing his memory and view of his mum, and what happened on the day of her passing. It was so difficult a letter for me to read. As I read...I tried to picture what were going through their minds when it happened....what were their expressions and reactions. I mean....how does one react when it just happens with no warning?
And then I put myself in his shoe. I don't know....I think, I would force myself to be strong to react, because of my love and concern. But if the unthinkable aftermath were to come....I think I would be shattered. Would I still be able to go around, smiling and serving?
I'm not ready. I know it's inevitable for the day to come...but I'm just not strong enough to take it. Because they're not ready for it as well. If only....I could have done better..
God, help me not to forsake praying for them. Please, show me what I have to give and do, and let me heed it with all I have. Because God, I don't think I'll be able to live with the pain and regret. Help me.
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i'm tired. cos' i really did try my best. i just don't have the energy to handle them anymore
The old broken melody, blowing through the trees of Eden.
They say the heart of man is too far gone to save... yet in the quaint humdums of the neighbourhood, in the midst of gains and losses, joys and heartaches, pleasure and pain, friends and foes, battles lost and won, you can just hear that quiet whisper, of an amazing grace....upon this unworthy life.