The old broken melody, blowing through the trees of Eden.
They say the heart of man is too far gone to save...
yet in the quaint humdums of the neighbourhood,
in the midst of gains and losses,
joys and heartaches,
pleasure and pain,
friends and foes,
battles lost and won,
you can just hear that quiet whisper,
of an amazing grace....upon this unworthy life.
This is a super belated post. Late for a year infact! Heh, wanted to post this back in december actually, but didn't manage to do it. And with my com down and no access to the pics for new year,I guess I'll post a couple of those unposted posts (that's a tongue twista!).
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If you've been following this blog since the start, you'd have notice review postings of movies I've watched along the way. I just love to read into movies, and soak myself in them. Such a powerful media. Yeah, for those who in the know, I had wanted to get into NUS's 'Communications and New Media' degree course before getting into NAFA. Oh well, it probably explains why I think watching movies alone is so cool. [although you may probably think it's such a loser and pathetic thing to do =( ]
[spoiler alert] Anyway, caught the movie I Am Legend with some of the youths. Somehow, it feels like watching Castaway again (in a good way). For most of the 1st part of the movie, you're basically going to see the survival livelihood of the protagonist, Neville, going by his days in a forsaken city overrun by the Infected monsters. For those expecting a blood fest, you're gonna be disappointed, although there's still a fair share of action.
Yeah, heart pumping action that will leave you on the edge of your movie seat indeed. Other than the usual sudden sound scare, the movie really takes its own sweet time in building up the tension and anticipation to something happening. Especially at the first action scene where Neville goes after his dog in a pitch black building. With the background music off, and the limited view of Neville's torchlight, you'll heave together with the character's heavy breathing. You can tell he is scared stiff (and so was I), and something is happening in the darkness around.
People will probably complain of the movie being slow moving. I personally enjoyed those moments the movie took to show Neville's attempt to make things feel normal and his eccentricities, and the desperation as a lonely man, everyday.
It is really sad. And it is only then, that the true extent of his pain of losing a particularly close companion in his own hands, is understood.
My name is Robert Neville. I am a survivor living in New York City. I am broadcasting on all AM frequencies. I will be at the South Street Seaport everyday at mid-day, when the sun is highest in the sky. If you are out there... if anyone is out there... I can provide food, I can provide shelter, I can provide security. If there's anybody out there... anybody... please. You are not alone.
You'd really feel for him, as he calls out and pleas through a daily broadcast, with hopes of finding someone out there. When you see him crying out to a mannequin for any sort of response, you don't know whether to laugh or cry for him. It made me think about the times when I behaved like a 'mannequin' in relating to others, being superficial and building up walls to others, and how I felt talking to one.
But deep within, Neville's heart was already numb and dead, if not, bordering on insanity after 3 years of fending off the Infected, as well as his own loneliness. Such a tragedy can only leave a man devoid of any hope, scoffing at anyone who would dare to offer an reasoning of a high Being or power...
Anna: The world is quieter now. We just have to listen. If we listen, we can hear God's plan.
Neville: God's plan.
Anna: Yeah.
Neville: All right, let me tell you about your "God's plan". Six billion people on Earth when the infection hit. KV had a ninety-percent kill rate, that's five point four billion people dead. Crashed and bled out. Dead. Less than one-percent immunity. That left twelve million healthy people, like you, me, and Ethan. The other five hundred and eighty-eight million turned into your dark seekers, and then they got hungry and they killed and fed on everybody. Everybody! Every *single* person that you or I has ever known is dead! Dead! There is no god!
Yet at the end, in the midst of inpending doom, hope prevailed and won the battle within him, as he realises his purpose, and that his decision to stay at ground zero was not a futile one, with a last minute realisation that the cure he had been working on was actually working. It was all enough for him to sacrifice his life in order for the remaining 2 survivors to escape with the formula, responding to Anna's call to listen earlier...
Neville: I'm listening.
It's a rare zombie type of movie that I've enjoyed, other than the ending which was disappointing after all that buildup. Fans of noisy and flashy movies like Transformers take note, this is a movie about a man's struggle with silence. An unsettling silence around, and within him.
With the carols sung, and turkeys eaten, christmas is behind us just like that. Thought our church turned cafe setting was pretty nicely done, though there's only so much you can do to a school hall.
But somehow I found that, with all the people around, it's so busy and tiring running here and there with hellos and all....is anything deep done? It's so weird, that the year culminates with a big bang on christmas, but the rest of the 11 months in a year go by quietly with certain people being masked and superficial towards the rest. I guess the little moments given and spent in earnesty along the way, not in the name of festivity, goes a longer way.
Or maybe it's just me....I just can't handle so many people at once. And my attention span just gets diverted, and something, or someone just gets neglected along the way. My bad.
Oh well, christmas pics by the way....
my youth pastor is a king
ooooh daniel with a halo
ooooh daniel with deqi
the sideline watchers
men in the mirror. wahah my hormonal imbalanced buttie removing her beard =S
pouting at the mirror i think
hah why this superman/girl sitting like a lost puppy here
eh this picture like something weird leh. like something's missing
ahhh yeah much better now
cell outings with the meh mehs after christmas. missing some out there unfortunately
ooh i realised this blog has been missing food photos with a bang lately. here's a cheesy mushroom chicken, coated with the special V8 sauce!
Christmas this year was memorable in another way. So many things kinda went sadly wrong that day....
My guitar string broke while I was tuning up preparing for the prac on christmas service! Goodness, if not for yeepeng's spare guitar that daniel brought along for some reason, I would have had the chance to show the world how a 5 string guitar is played. Tell me about providence. For one of the songs, I was supposed to start it with some samba tempo thingy...but somehow I managed to get it all confused and mixed up. But the song carried through. Tell me about providence again.
Sigh, then I actually encountered a snatch thief robbery in process in the evening with some friends, for the first time I think. I actually didn't do anything. Somehow I was stuck between facing the reality of what was happening, and thoughts flying through my mind. I really regretted it. That man seemed injured and was practically crying for help, why didn't I do anything? I cringe everytime I think about that image.
But I had plenty of time to think about it. Cause I realised I actually forgot my house keys and had to sit the night away at a nearby park bench. Was so tired I kept dozing off. Bummer.
Memorable indeed.
But just wanna say a word of thanks, to all of you out there who's taken the effort and offered this poor old guy cards, words, gifts. Sorry that I can't give much back to you. It's really all greatly appreciated.
Christmas. Hope it was a meaningful and merry one for all of you out there.
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A Leaf of Hope
“When the dove returned to [Noah] in the evening, there in its beak was a freshly plucked olive leaf!"
Genesis 8:11
An olive leaf. Noah would have been happy to have the bird but to have the leaf! This leaf was more than foliage; this was promise. The bird had brought more than a piece of a tree; it brought hope. For isn’t that what a hope is? Hope is an olive leaf—evidence of dry land after a flood…
Don’t we love the olive leaves of life? “It appears the cancer may be in remission.” “I can help you with those finances.” “We’ll get through this together.”
What’s more, don’t we love the doves that bring them? When the father walks his son through his first broken heart, he gives him an olive leaf. When the wife of many years consoles the wife of a few months, when she tells her that conflicts come and all husbands are moody and these storms pass, you know what she is doing? She is giving an olive leaf.
We love olive leaves. And we love those who give them.
a Max Lucado devotional Sunday, December 23, 2007
more than just a time of singing, this is God's eternal plan. God with us, Emmanuel has come.
(An angel's viewpoint at the scene of Jesus's birth. Imagined.)
We were a wreath of Light around the stable, a necklace of diamonds around the structure. Every angel had been called from his post for the coming, even Michael. None doubted God would, but none knew how He could, fulfill his promise.
I’ve heated the water!”
“No need to yell, Joseph I hear you fine.”
Mary would have heard had Joseph whispered. The stable was even smaller than Joseph had imagined but the innkeeper was right- it was clean. I started to clear out the sheep and cow, but Michael stopped me. “The Father wants all of creation to witness the moment.”
Mary cried out and gripped Joseph’s arm with one hand and a feed trough with the other. The thrust in her abdomen lifted her back, and she leaned forward.
“Is it time?” Joseph asked.
She shot back a glance, and he had his answer.
Within moments the Awaited One was born. I was privileged to have a position close to the couple, only a step behind Michael. We both gazed into the wrinkled face of the infant. Joseph had placed hay in a feed trough, giving Jesus his first bed.
All of God was in the infant. Light encircled His face and radiated from His tiny hands. The very glory I had witnessed in His throne room now burst through His skin.
I felt we should sing but did not know what. We had no song. We had no verse. We had never seen the sight of God in a baby. When God had made a star, our words had roared. When He had delivered His servants, our tongues had flown with praise. Before His throne, our songs never ended. But what do you sing to God in a feed trough?
In that moment a wonderful thing happened. As we looked at the baby Jesus, the darkness lifted. Not the darkness of the night, but the darkness of the mystery. Heaven’s enlightenment engulfed the legions.
Our minds were filled with the Truth we had never before known. We became aware for the first time of the Father’s plan to rescue those who bear His name.
Oops, apologies to all faithful readers out there, for the lack of posts lately. It’s been kinda quiet around here lately huh…but it certainly has been quite a ruckus around lately for me, over this Christmas season.
Just like that, it’s the end of the year once again. I guess everyone just wish for some time to be away from the busy norm of life throughout the year, and to just take a good look at the friends around us, as well as for the year past.
And yeah, I’m certainly thankful for the time available with my family and some of you out there. It was a pleasure and honor for me. Here's a look at some pre-christmas moments first...
Took the time to first sort out my room before having some peeps over...
loads of youth ministry stuff from years back. always brings back memories when i looked through them...
heh managed to find this cute little shirt, given by a friend from Serve program
had jazz over at his last minute's request. pretty cool time of talking and guitaring
snowy showing what he could do on the guitar as well
jazz with snowy haha
Just some days before christmas, met up with nafa friends for a movie and a dinner at jazz's house. Ooh, I must say, Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium is, surprisingly, a pretty good and interesting movie. It's kinda weird, in a good way, and you just have to leave your logic behind while watching the movie.
Meet up with the nafa-ians was cool. It was good especially, to finally see each other after such a long time of break. I suspect they were all tearing away secretly at the sight of me....I mean each other. =D
haha according to mikki, jazz looks like the turtle
over at jazz's house. ooh that's me helping out in the kitchen, or pretending to look busy
supposed to look cool in this pic, dunno why i go 'twiss'
yeah
dinner's served!
heh we celebrated ahhan's birthday as well. happily grin until cannot see his eyes man
gift exchange time!
early merry christmas
the gift i got: a talking bear! well actually it's a bear which you can record your voice in and reply by pressing its left armpit. ouch.
Ooh yeah, had a little meetup with with poly mates too, on sat evening. Popped over to Linus's boardgame cca club chalet. Things were awkward at first, but heh we got on with the flow and really had a great time just chilling out over with some rare boardgames.
waiting for the bus over to aloha loyang
haha check out these 2 uncles, still playing like kids at their age. tsktsk
Only regrettable thing was, I had to leave for the night for service and christmas prep the next day....so oh well. But no worries guys, a visit to the cafe the next time yeah? =)
Speaking of which....christmas. I'll leave that for the next post, coming soon. =)
Still feeling pretty awake (and hungry), thanks to an earlier rest in the evening. It was really some good sound sleep I must say. Looking out my window now, and it's really some night out there right now....
Cool quiet breezy night
Was just soaking in the simple moment of the night, looking out to the litted blocks against the night sky....when for some reason, the song 'None but Jesus' just came to my mind.
In the presence of surrounding darkness....there is a light for those who would trust, a place to learn our wearied bodies upon for rest. And no, I'm not saying this from a mountain top view right now. Neither am I an infallible strong tower. I just want to remind you, as I remind my own forgetful self.
Yes, I know you...some of you, around me, drifting and struggling to stay afloat. With my limited and weak reach, I have heard, read, seen, felt what you are roughly going through. I'm sorry for the times when I've not done enough, when my own tiredness and human failings constraint and contain my arms from reaching out for a pat or a hug. I'd really want to, if not for the waves of unworthiness I contend with personally.
As a fellow struggler, I just want to say to you and remind myself: Don't let go, of yourself and God especially.
No matter the suffocating and blinding darkness that's choking you at the moment, where you don't see any future to look forward to, and you're too afraid to look back at the past. And yes you've tried to sing in the darkness, no matter the croaked voice from all the crying, only to feel nothing, or even silly, stupid and futile with your efforts.
But it's not. Sing and cry out again. Even when the voices of regret, disappointment, shame, hurt, hopelessness, defeat taunts and put you down, hold on to His promise, your heart songs and Him. A desperate, bleeding, dirty cracked heart doesn't put the Savior off. Not especially to a Savior who was crucified to set us free.
If only you'd dare to bare your heart, going against the very reasoning of your human flesh, that God doesn't care or hear....to thrust and trust all your painful and heavy heart matters into His hands.
Even when the response we get seem to be silence....do we still dare to trust?
a reminder for me, and you
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Well, I've finally, more or less come to a decision about it. Thanks in part, to an earlier msn conversation I had. Sort of an affirmation. But I'm still scared, though I can feel the inclination towards it.
I just want to trust, to the best of my ability and sensitivity, and see just what He will do. Into Your hands then.
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[None But Jesus] - Hillsong
In the quiet, in the stillness I know that You are God In the secret of Your presence I know there I am restored
When You call I won’t refuse Each new day again I’ll choose
There is no one else for me None but Jesus Crucified to set me free Now I live to bring Him praise
In the chaos, in confusion I know You’re Sovereign still In the moment of my weakness You give me grace to do Your will
When You call I won’t delay This my song through all my days
All my delight is in You Lord All of my hope, all of my strength All my delight is in You Lord Forevermore
Have you ever looked forward to something so much, and when it actually comes to pass, you feel so disappointed cause things didn't really turn out the way you thought so?
I am man....for my hair. =(
After enduring the past few weeks, I finally found the time to trim my hair which has grown so unmanageable. But....aiyooooooooo. Maybe aunty mary (the hairdresser) was so delighted to see me after so long, she happily grin and cut my hair like it was free or something haha. And there I was happily chatting with her not realising anything. Well actually it didn't seem that bad initially, but after staring at it intently, my hair seemed to whimper and grew shorter! (they're alive!!)
And to make things worse, with the hair cut, the coloured portions are mostly gone, revealing the innermost and personal secret of secrets: my white hair!
Ok, they're not really a secret, judging by the immense amount of laughter and joy they've provided to people around me who keep noticing and pointing them out. Regrets ahhh regrets. I miss my old hair.....
ahhh the crowned glory days.
(this old pic was actually us helping to pose for jazz's figure perspective drawing assignment, cool huh)
Now if I try the same posture in the pic, I'd just probably look like a silly short-haired kid contemplating whether he should eat up that last ice-cream in the fridge.
Haha ok, I think that's a rather lengthy post for my hair. Aiya but....it's gonna be bad hair days for the following days. Sucky man. Oh well, anyone with any secret recipe that stimulates and promote hair growth, please let me know.
Let it grow..let it growwwwwwwww~
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My head hurts. Nah, it's not because of the hair (tsk enough about the hair already lahhh deqi!!) Maybe it's just the over-complication of things around. I mean, come on, there are things of greater need around. Why all that spent energy on such things?
The word is out, and almost a unisoned, unanimous positive response has been coming all around: Enchanted is a good watch.
And yeah, it was indeed a surprise of a gem, for me. Afterall, it came across as a silly, romantic disney chick flick to me before watching it. But hey hey, it was surprisingly good. Really funny, laugh out loud moments paired up with the marvelous performance of Amy Adams, who will have you convinced that she's a real life princess heh.
Fairytale in the real world. Just makes you wonder, if happily ever after is ever possible.
Maybe not to that extent...but more of viewing and living life in simplicity I'd say. When the smallest of things and blessings that come along your way makes you just wanna dance.
But somehow, simplicity is something that most of us manage to misplace along the way, with the passage of time. Soon, embarrassment becomes a major hindering factor when we think about dancing for joy.
It's not really about age though. More often than not, we find ourselves having to deal with the realisation (unwillingly at that), that things aren't really that simple. Issues and factors that we wouldn't even think about at childhood, suddenly comes into the picture.
Colour of a person's skin, is now more than a pigment. Things do go wrong. We are not in control. Families can fall apart. Grey areas can be seen as acceptance, or as confounding. Elements of life such as trust, faith, belief, love gets corroded, betrayed and twisted for some people.
Where are the simpler days man? But I guess to be realistic, this is life in a fallen world afterall, what else can we expect? It boils down to not losing that joy in the journey I guess. The fatigue of the marathon can cause people to lose sight of the finishing line and prize awaiting. The weight of the 'world' upon our shoulders numb us from the capacity for joy of the little things around.
according to this wall advert at eunos mrt....
...life's simple pleasures is having gigantic overgrown beans bigger than your child squeezing with you on the train. rock on.
Well....I have no idea what they really meant with that, but that doesn't sound exactly...err pleasurable for me. Maybe it's just me huh =S
I guess the overload of things on my mind takes the cake. And the issue to reply by 10th....sigh. Somewhere along the way, things just throw you off, and from then on you just feel so disorientated.
Wah I think I've been rambling off. If you're still reading here, you must really have a load of patience (or time). You're a great pal. Let me know and I'll buy you coffee, while stocks last. (not stock of the coffee hor...stock of my money)
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Just spotted a few glaring strands of white hair. Great....when I'm just getting accustomed to be 24, reality hits in that I'm gonna be a quater of a century.....soon.
. . AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....OH my goodnesssssssssssssssssssss!
In just a few years time, your beloved Deqi could well look just like this. Look out for him.
vindicated
About me
Who am I? You sure you want to know?
The story of my life is not for the faint of heart.
If somebody said it was a happy little tale... if somebody told you I was just your average ordinary guy, without a care in the world...somebody lied.
If you've been following this blog since the start, you'd have notice review postings of movies I've watched along the way. I just love to read into movies, and soak myself in them. Such a powerful media. Yeah, for those who in the know, I had wanted to get into NUS's 'Communications and New Media' degree course before getting into NAFA. Oh well, it probably explains why I think watching movies alone is so cool. [although you may probably think it's such a loser and pathetic thing to do =( ]
