Doubtstorms
On Sundays I stand before a church with a three-point outline in my hand, thirty minutes on the clock, and a prayer on my lips. I do my best to say something that will convince a stranger that an unseen God still hears.
And I sometimes wonder why so many hearts have to hurt.
Do you ever get doubtstorms? Some of you don’t, I know. I’ve talked to you.
I think you are gifted. You are gifted with faith. You can see the rainbow before the clouds part. If you have this gift, then I won’t say anything you need to hear.
But others of you wonder...
You wonder if it is a blessing or a curse to have a mind that never rests. But you would rather be a cynic than a hypocrite, so you continue to pray with one eye open and wonder:
- about starving children
- about the power of prayer
- about the depths of grace
- about Christians in cancer wards
- about who you are to ask such questions anyway.
Tough questions. Throw-in-the-towel questions. Questions the disciples must have asked in the storm.
The light came for the disciples. A figure came to them walking on the water. It wasn’t what they expected. Perhaps they were looking for angels to descend or heaven to open. Maybe they were listening for a divine proclamation to still the storm. We don’t know what they were looking for. But one thing is for sure, they weren’t looking for
Jesus to come walking on the water.
“‘It’s a ghost,’ they said and cried out in fear” (Matt. 14:26).
And since Jesus came in a way they didn’t expect, they almost missed seeing the answer to their prayers.
And unless we look and listen closely, we risk making the same mistake. God’s lights in our dark nights are as numerous as the stars, if only we’ll look for them.
When the disciples saw Jesus in the middle of their stormy night, they called him a ghost. A phantom. A hallucination. To them, the glow was anything but God.
When we see gentle lights on the horizon, we often have the same reaction. We dismiss occasional kindness as apparitions, accidents, or anomalies. Anything but God.
“When Jesus comes,” the disciples in the boat may have thought, “he’ll split the sky. The sea will be calm. The clouds will disperse.”
“When God comes,” we doubters think, “all pain will flee. Life will be tranquil. No questions will remain.”
And because we look for the bonfire, we miss the candle. Because we listen for the shout, we miss the whisper.
Excerpt from chapter 13 of 'In The Eye Of The Storm',
by Max Lucado
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Groannn....couldn't wake up for work this morning at all, until my bro woke me up at 8.
Hope that you who's reading this had a well rested night....it was a stormy night for me though. Got woken up at around 3am in the middle of the night by some voices from the carpark facing my bedroom. Initially it was just some talking and all....and before I know it, it turned to some scuffles and running around. Then the voices started to boom.
Turned out that a couple was quarreling right there in the middle of the empty silent carpark....and man, was it heated. Bummer man...try as I might, I just couldn't get back to sleep in the cool chilly night. =(
Close to 4am, it was finally over...with the girl storming off, leaving the guy to sit and sob on the road.
Feeling so unrested man. Oh well, that's a sleepless night of sharing a couple's woe for me.
Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self -- always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.
Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers between people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the "not visible" or the "not yet" that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.
Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness.
Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a "soulmate," someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds.
Idealists are rare, making up between 20 and 25 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.
- Idealists are enthusiastic, they trust their intuition, yearn for romance, seek their true self, prize meaningful relationships, and dream of attaining wisdom.
- Idealists pride themselves on being loving, kindhearted, and authentic.
- Idealists tend to be giving, trusting, spiritual, and they are focused on personal journeys and human potentials.
- Idealists make intense mates, nurturing parents, and inspirational leaders.
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Hmm weird...why do I feel like a pessimist at times?
Oh...or is that a different thing altogether?
Hmm....
"Goods once broken, considered sold"
We've all seen that tag before.
Maybe in some antique shop. Or a gift shop right next to fragile glassy displays. And yeah, it does make me think twice about being near it.
Not all prices are affordable afterall....literally and figuratively speaking.
Makes me wonder...what if God places that tag upon us who belong to Him? (just a question that popped up to me)
Just a moment of clumsiness...and *crack* ....
...there goes our pledge to commitment to tithe or in a marriage. Out the window goes our promise not to sin and do wrong.
Promises broken.
So...what if He pins that tag upon us and the very next time we break a promise or principle of His...and we get "sold" out of His possesion? Afterall, we often get irked and disgusted with our own broken and unmended states. Will it make us think twice for the need to be more careful in handling the way we make choices and live our lives?
Very thankfully...He doesn't do so....though He could have.
Ask and Believe
“If you believe, you will get anything you ask for in prayer.”
Matthew 21:24
“If you believe, you will get anything you ask for in prayer.”
Don’t reduce this grand statement to the category of new cars and paychecks. Don’t limit the promise of this package to the selfish pool of perks and favors. The fruit God assures is far greater than promotions and proposals.
God wants you to fly. He wants you to fly free of yesterday’s guilt. He wants you to fly free of today’s fears. He wants you to fly free of tomorrow’s grave. Sin, fear, and death. These are the mountains he has moved. These are the prayers that he will answer. That is the fruit he will grant. This is what he longs to do.
a Max Lucado devotional,
Saturday, January 13, 2007
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..what have I been asking for...?
..what have I not been asking for..?
Year: 2006
Day count: 367
With that...2006 is over. Can you believe it??
'With that...' indeed. A simple 4-letter word to summarise a heck of a year that just passed. But it all feels "un-ended". Like as though it's still 2006. You feel that too?
Personally, I think the reason for feeling so is this: I'm not ready to move on.
There's still things and issues within me that I've yet to let go....but I have to. I guess that's what you get with things sitting on your heart for too long...it all seems one unending stretch. And it actually affected me as I attended our church's final watchnight service for 2006.
Don't get me wrong...it was really a cool service. [Ironically, being the photographer that night, I actually don't have a single photo of that night for myself :( ] Well you just gotta make do with my verbal picturing of that night my dear reader.
We had the chinese congregation's extension building floor for the service. A warm tinge of orange light fills the moderately spaced room, packing in our congregation size of 100+. There was the sense of closeness among each other. The last time I recall we sat so closely with each other was when services were still held at our counselling centre....and it was a great feeling I missed. Somehow, everyone seemed more at ease and casual, and the worship was loud, despite only having guitars. Loud from the voices and hearts that is. =)
Which was why I felt disconnected. But I really didn't want to miss the chance....to be obedient and not let issues within take lead. And I'm glad I did...by His grace, the songs seemed to flow in helping me express the longings.
But more so, the sermon by Rev Soh really ministered. It made me think...have I honestly and really identified what's the season of my life at this moment, and more importantly...its purpose. It's so easy to be caught up more with the effects the season brings along, rather than its purpose. And the thing about forgetting the purpose...is that it leads to forgetting about the One who allowed it and the bigger picture of things. Sadder still if it leads to bitterness and hardness of heart.
And what do I stand on? What grounds me in times of testing? And as someone's sms to me today reminded me..."We cannot run on yesterday's food".
I guess the answer has been provided all along. Maybe I found it hard to accept it as the self-sufficient answer from Him. But it is. Nothing more.
The answer?
..to love You and be loved by You alone..
..to crucify my flesh and boast in You alone..
..to be satisfied at the thought of Your covering..
..to have my happiness found in less of me, and more of You..
come on deqi....quieten and think. what answer have you been looking for? are you more concerned with getting the answer you hope to have, or listen to His answer? so what if you have your desired answer and all the people around with you...you know you're not going to be happy if He's not the deciding factor.
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Have been listening to Shane and Shane recently, and they're really a great sounding duo, focusing on harmonising voices and acoustic guitars. And KingKong if you're reading this...there's really a guitar strumming method called "Double Strumming" made famous by Shane. Watch out for it at 4:06 of the video heh. =)
[The Answer] - Shane Barnard and Shane Everett
I've tried more of me
and I've come up dry
trading You for things
things that go away
My happiness is found in less
of me and more of You
My happiness is found in less
of me and more of You
I have found the answer is
to love You and be loved by you alone
alright! alright! alright!
You crucify me and the world to me
and I will only boast in You
alright! alright! alright!
I'm so satisfied
at the thought of You
growing up in me
covering everything
My happiness is found in less
of me and more of You
My happiness is found in less
of me and more of You
You are, You are(loved by me)
You are, You are(You're loved by me)
You are, You are(You're loved by me)
You are, You are, You are
still me, and help me
to take You at this answer..